Thursday, October 31, 2013
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
185. Advice and Words of Wisdom
WARNING: Don't put out candy on your desk if you don't want people to see what you're doing on your computer.
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
184. Advice and Words of Wisdom
Want coworkers to like you better?
Put better candy than that candy whore in the cubicle next to yours.
Put better candy than that candy whore in the cubicle next to yours.
Monday, October 28, 2013
Friday, October 25, 2013
182. Shit I want to say at work
Do not call me day of your big important whatever and need something
when you've know about it for months.
“Bad planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part”
“Bad planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part”
Thursday, October 24, 2013
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
180. Shit I want to say at work
It's great that I get to do this on overtime,
but fixing your mistakes that you earned overtime for is not my idea of productive.
but fixing your mistakes that you earned overtime for is not my idea of productive.
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
179. Shit I want to say at work
Just because you have a horrible marriage and horrible kids don't tell me not to get married or have kids. I am nothing like you and will never have the same marriage as you nor raise my children anything like the way you do. Some people actually like their family.
Monday, October 21, 2013
178. Shit I want to say at work: Turkey for lunch
Oh it’s the start of turkey hunting season? Yes let me
eat my lunch as you describe the perfect way to kill and clean turkey.
Friday, October 18, 2013
Thursday, October 17, 2013
176 Shit I want to say at work
Seriously what do interns not get about numerical order? Numerical? Order?
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
175. Shit I want to say at work
I may not be able to pick a lock, but I've never met a CD burner I can't get open with a paperclip.
I'm liked an Office MacGyver.
I'm liked an Office MacGyver.
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
174. Shit I want to say at work
I'm not saying our new cleaning guy is a robot, but I just witnessed him staring at a wall for 5 full minutes.
Guys, the new cleaning guy is a robot.
Guys, the new cleaning guy is a robot.
Monday, October 14, 2013
VACATION at Murphy's Law Inc
A trip to Washington DC during a government Shut Down?
Yep this is working for Murphy's Law Inc.
Back to work tomorrow.
Yep this is working for Murphy's Law Inc.
Back to work tomorrow.
Monday, October 7, 2013
Friday, October 4, 2013
173. Shit I want to say at work
Oh it's not my fault, but you're going to blame me anyway breaking your week long silent treatment. Okay.
Thursday, October 3, 2013
172. Shit I DID say at work
When I say I'm in charge of my offices files, I don't have a couple of filling cabinets in my office. There is a locked room that acts as a giant filing cabinet. Files date back to 1927, and for the past decade we average about 20,000 files per year. Having said that, all files are dated and have a unique identifying number and we have a very complex, very expensive computer system to keep track of them all. And unlike my bedroom, my house, my office- the filing room is neat and orderly. It has to be. If you can't find a file, it's a big deal. That means it's missing and consequences are not good and usually involve me.
If you can't find a file because you've forgotten to look up where it is on the computer, you're an idiot and I will call you out on it.
If you can't find a file because you've forgotten to look up where it is on the computer, you're an idiot and I will call you out on it.
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
171. Shit I DID say at work: Absolutely true conversations
Coworker: I need paper.
Me: Did you look next to the printer?
CW: Yes, but I need a lot.
Me: Did you look next to the printer?
CW: Okay No, but I don't think it's there
Me: I walk over and point
CW: Well if I need more I'll ask you
Me: okay
15mins later
CW: I need paper
Me: Did you look below the printer
CW: No. Can't you just get me paper?
Me: So you can't look next to where your standing 2 sec ago, where we store the paper, but you want me to go all the way to the supply room to get you extra paper so I can hand it to you.
CW: pause Yes
Me: in disbelief Well ok then ... here.
CW: Thank-you. Hey, so you make copies right. Can you...
Me: Now you want me to do it for you?
CW: … No, I mean this isn't even for my case, it's for Them. It's a competency test - unless you want to do it for me?
Me: (The question was partially genuine because despite being a secretary I could take the test and pass it.) Not unless you give me your salary.
CW: OH here we go!
Really! Really?
This is how it felt.
Me: Did you look next to the printer?
CW: Yes, but I need a lot.
Me: Did you look next to the printer?
CW: Okay No, but I don't think it's there
Me: I walk over and point
CW: Well if I need more I'll ask you
Me: okay
15mins later
CW: I need paper
Me: Did you look below the printer
CW: No. Can't you just get me paper?
Me: So you can't look next to where your standing 2 sec ago, where we store the paper, but you want me to go all the way to the supply room to get you extra paper so I can hand it to you.
CW: pause Yes
Me: in disbelief Well ok then ... here.
CW: Thank-you. Hey, so you make copies right. Can you...
Me: Now you want me to do it for you?
CW: … No, I mean this isn't even for my case, it's for Them. It's a competency test - unless you want to do it for me?
Me: (The question was partially genuine because despite being a secretary I could take the test and pass it.) Not unless you give me your salary.
CW: OH here we go!
Really! Really?
This is how it felt.
169. Shit I want to say at work
To Other Secretary: The silent treatment won't work on me, I enjoy not talking to you.
Besides you are at least 45, the silent treatment? Really? Yep, You're a professional.
Is this one of you grand parenting skills at work?
Besides you are at least 45, the silent treatment? Really? Yep, You're a professional.
Is this one of you grand parenting skills at work?
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
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